I want things to be back to normal(whatever normal is). I want to skip over the whole grieving process and get on with my life. I tried to go to work today, but I just couldn't make it out the door. My doctor told me to stay home for a week, but I thought if I went into the office, I'd help move things along and get back to my routine faster, but I just couldn't. I feel defeated by my pain and my loss.
There is some good news in my life. My Mom got released from the hospital yesterday. She is expected to make a full recovery. I try to take comfort in that, but I can't. I try to be grateful for what I do have, a wonderful husband, my family, my dogs, my job, etc., but I can't. I feel nothing but despair, and I hate that.
You ladies have all been so wonderful and supporting and I know I'm lucky to have you, even if I don't feel particularly lucky right now.