Monday, September 8, 2008

To Test Or Not To Test

My beta is scheduled for this Friday 9/12. I can't decide whether to take an HPT before then or not. I know once I start taking them, I'll end up taking one every day until beta, hoping for a different result or praying that the result stays the same depending on the outcome.

Part of me, doesn't want to put myself through all that, telling me to wait until Friday for the somewhat definitive beta test. On the other hand, the OCD part of me wants to test every hour of every day until Friday and I oscillate between these two extreme positions. I am driving myself crazy.

When I start thinking of the whole FET process. It all seems so unreal and Sci-Fi like to me. You know, I can wrap my head around the IVF process and see how that could work. But FET? They actually freeze a live embryo and later thaw it expecting it to survive and turn into a real live person? Unreal! I know it does work, but it still seems so out of this world.

On the other hand, I think I actually have pregnancy symptoms. I know it could be the hormones and my imagination. But at times I am certain that I'm pregnant. Other times I fear that I am pregnant and it's another ectopic. I have pains on my left side where the last ectopic was. I know, I know, I'm going crazy. But what can you do?


Michelle said...

Did you have your transfer on August 22nd or 29th? If it was the 22nd, I would totally test. If it was the 29th, give yourself a few more days or maybe even wait for the blood test. Although that's like the pot calling the kettle black, because I'm definately an early tester. I just can't help myself, it's like a compulsion.

2roads said...

Good to hear from you!!

I remember wanting the hope to last as long as possible-and had decided I wouldn't test-but, alas, I had my breaking moment and did finally test. It was a roller coaster. Totally your call. Advantages either way. You'll know if you can't take it another minute.

I had lots of cramping early on, too. I'll take it as a good sign and cross my fingers that everything is where it should be.

I think about you everyday, Joonie. All my best wishes are there for your taking.

Pepper said...

Looking back, I wish I had tested around 12 or 13 dpo. It would've made getting the negative beta a little easier and I would've found out when I was at home instead of when I was at work and had to pull it together to go to a meeting afterwards. Oh, the joys.

But only you can know how you'll do. Hugs to you! I'm crossing every possible thing I can cross for you.

Maybe that last part was TMI ...


Jess said...

I could never help BUT to test before the beta. Hats off to anyone who can hold out, because I sure couldn't. Whatever way you find out, I hope it's good news!! :)

Lisa said...

Fingers crossed for you, Joonie! No advice, just do what seems right re testing before beta. Whatever drives you LEAST crazy!

Lisa from IG