Just as a I started to let my guards down I was faced yet again with uncertainty of life. OK, let me start from the beginning. On Monday I had my second Beta result which came back at an astounding 6453. I was feeling pretty good and told my parents and my sister. My parents were excited and wanted to have us over for a celebratory dinner on Tuesday night.
Tuesday morning I had a bit of spotting. I tried my best to not panic and remembered that spotting in first trimester is not always cause for concern. So by evening, I was feeling good again. We went to my parents and had a lovely dinner. I went to the bathroom after dinner, just to be faced with red blood flow, at this time I broke down into tears and couldn't get enough composure to make my way out of the bathroom. I spent what seemed like a long time in there. When I finally came out to tell my family what was happening, I could barely speak. So I called the emergency number at the clinic. The on-call doctor told me that if the bleeding continues for over an hour and I start having cramps, I should go to the ER, otherwise I should go to the clinic first thing in the morning.
On the drive home the cramping started, I was besides myself. When we got home, I discovered that the bleeding has actually slowed down. So I decided to wait it out. You can imagine what kind of night I had. Going to the bathroom for what seemed like every 15 minutes to check and see what's going on. Anyway, we made it to the clinic in the morning.
Dr. Hotstuff and nurse Grumpy were in the exam room. They did an ultrasound and there it was an actual yolk sak in the uterus. Of course, Dr. Hotstuff said that it was no guarantee of the viability of the pregnancy, but everything is as it should be. I should do another ultrasound in a week to see if there is a heartbeat. She said there was nothing to be done, I should just go home and relax and avoid stress (easier said than done).
We came home somewhat relived, but still confused. I took the rest of the day off and obsessed about every twinge of pain and every small cramp I felt. So, I decided to come to work today to at least keep busy and take my mind off of every little thing that's going on inside.