Monday, August 4, 2008

2 Steps Forward 3 Steps back

This past weekend I went on an all girls trip with my sister and two of our female cousins. It was great! I had a lot of fun. We went to the beach and had ourselves a really good time. I was able to join in and have a drink or two (or three) with the rest of them and let myself forget about all my troubles for a while.

On the way back, I was dropping off one of my cousins at her house, it was just the two of us in the car, when she out of nowhere asked if I was going to try to get pregnant again! Now she knows of my recent ectopic pregnancy, but she doesn't know about my IF struggles. Of course, instead of responding, I started crying. My poor cousin, helplessly tried to console me to no avail. I just couldn't stop the tears, I must have gone on for what it seemed like a very long time. She kept apologizing for being insensitive and thoughtless, etc. etc. In the end, just as we approached her house, I was able to stop crying and tell her that I have a hard time talking about it right now and left it at that.


Michelle said...

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. That sucks. I completely hate that question... there's never a good reason to ask it, and there's never a good answer.

Hope things are getting easier soon!

Lisa said...

Oh sweetie, it sounds like that just caught you way off guard. Even though you had fun with the girls, the "not thinking about it" always takes some effort, so you were probably slightly stressed from that.

I don't think you took ANY steps back — you had a good time and then remembered your grief. It will keep getting easier to extend the good times, I just know it.

Evil Stepmonster said...

oh Joonie. Grief hits at the most unexpected moments some times doesn't it? Don't be discouraged or embarrassed, it's all just part of the process. All you can do is keep stepping. Please take care.