I went home from work last night. Took a long shower and poured myself a glass of wine. I was starting to make dinner when DH arrived. He was surprised to see me with a glass of wine. DH doesn't drink and I only drink when we have company or when we go out. I told him about my day with JellyBelly and he said: "that explains the wine". He was very sweet and supportive. He said JellyBelly is most likely a bully and I should stand up to him or he will continue his verbal assault on me. I said I'll think about it.
I feel much better and very calm today. The gorgeous weather outside and the sunshine through my office window have helped my mood. I also got a reassuring voicemail from my boss telling me to ignore JellyBelly and that he'll deal with him when he gets back into the office next week.
Now, I can go back to obsessing about this IVF cycle. I have my suppression check Monday morning and stims are likely to start next week. I just can't get excited about this cycle. Last cycle, I was very hopeful. I knew that it may not work (and it didn't), but I believed I had a pretty good chance. Dr. A put my odds at 60% and I believed him! This time not so much! I know it's probably normal to feel this way after a failed cycle, but I have this superstitious feeling that it won't work unless I believe in it and I can't get myself to believe in it. Is that silly?